So many thoughts rushing through my brain right now. Not even sure it will make sense...
Miss N started preschool a few days a week. I thought everything would be fine - no respect or obedience issues. Sure - she has respect and disobedience issues at home, but at school she would listen to her teacher. Not so.
You see, all of the things I complained about as a Preschool Teacher I am now facing as a parent. As a teacher I would hear parents say "But Bobby doesn't do that at home.", "My child is really rough with other kids. Can you work on that?", "I've tried this and this and this at home with Bobby and nothing is working. Please help!" -And I would think (to myself) "Seriously people!?? These are YOUR children. I am here to provide a loving, caring environment where your child can grow socially and mentally. I am not here to be the substitute parent. Why can't you take care of your child's issues yourself?"
Sounds harsh, I know.
But now...A lightbulb is starting to flicker in my brain. Oh.My.Word. I am "That Parent". And I think I'm realizing (yet again) that I have no idea what I'm doing as a parent. No one does. (Hope that doesn't offend anyone...) And I think that's a good thing to keep in mind - at least for me. I get so caught up in 'Why are Betty's kids so well behaved?' 'How can they have three kids and handle everything with ease, while I have one and struggle to keep things balanced!?' 'I shouldn't be so frustrated with N right now, but I'm going batty with all the pretending!' ...to name a few.
Bottom line: I need to get over it. Asking for help is ok. Admitting you don't always know what you're doing is ok. Talking to other moms about how tough motherhood can be is good. I think it helps us realize that we are not alone. I LOVE my daughter and I look forward to another baby someday. I think I just need to take a deep breath, pray for patience and guidance and give myself some grace when I feel completely out of my element. Cause parenting is new for any parent - whether they have 1 or 5. Dynamics change, personalities are different.
So, in summary: I don't have all the answers. I need help and encouragement. And ultimately, little Miss N will turn out exactly how God wanted her to be. And...what you said years ago can come back to bite you in the butt.
All of our paperwork, fingerprinting, self-studies, references, training hours, etc. are FINISHED!! Looks like we will start our Home Study in early October!!!